A Tennis Ball Gave My Dachshund Superpowers

It’s a simple matter of physics. When you have a kielbasa-shaped body supported by four-inch legs, just getting onto the couch without a ramp is a feat. Scrambling up a tree or scaling a fence should, by all accounts, be a near impossibility.

Unless you’re a ball-obsessed dachshund like Rommel.

The One Toy to Rule Them All

Rommel with Ball – his favorite toy in the world

Rommel has lots of toys available to him—ropes, squeakers, plushies, you name it. But in his world, there is only one object worthy of his entertainment: The Tennis Ball. Not just any tennis ball, mind you, but The Tennis Ball. Faded green, slightly de-fuzzed, covered in dirt and debris. No other ball will do. Among a whole basket of balls, this the only one he will play with.

And when that ball is in play, the laws of physics no longer apply. Wherever the ball lands, Rommel follows. A 30-inch countertop, the top of a hi-boy bedroom dresser, the upper storage shelf in the garage; none of these are obstacles in his relentless pursuit of Ball.

The Toss That Changed Everything

Knowing Rommel’s single-mindedness, what happened one lazy Saturday afternoon shouldn’t have been a surprise, but it was all the same.

My husband was on our back deck playing fetch with Rommel, tossing Ball far down-slope in a futile attempt to wear the dog out. Rommel’s pretty good at predicting where Ball will land even before it’s thrown, so my husband, attempting to trick the dog, did a fake toss in one direction, then threw Ball in another.

Rommel was fooled for a second but quickly changed course to intercept. However, just as Rommel reached Ball’s landing spot, Ball took a rogue bounce, caromed off the side of the greenhouse and landed directly on top of our duck enclosure—a 12-foot by 12-foot structure well over six feet tall and completely encased in orange clockvine.

The duck enclosure is too tall for me to reach the top

Without dragging a ladder down to it and doing and searching through the vines covering the top of the enclosure, there was no way we were going to find and retrieve Ball.

Not being up for that kind of effort, my husband tried to distract Rommel. He threw other tennis balls. He tossed different toys. He brought out dog treats. But Rommel wasn’t going to be distracted. He ignored the balls, toys, and treats and simply stared up at the coop with a look of quiet, calculated focus.

A Daring Rescue Attempt

After a while, things got quiet. We sat on the deck, assuming Rommel had gone off to do other things—join our other dachshunds, Franzi and Montgomery, in digging a hole to China, patrolling the perimeter for squirrels, investigating what the cats were doing, and so on.

Then, we heard it.

It wasn’t Rommel’s usual “there’s Amazon driver” bark. It was a loud, clipped bark followed by a quick, impatient growl—the bark he only uses when he’s trying to get our attention. We got up to investigate, thinking he was trapped behind a closed gate or he’d gotten stuck in a bush.

We looked in all the usual spots. Under the deck, in the vegetable garden, behind the shed. Nothing. Then, we looked up.

There, standing on top of the six-foot duck coop, was Rommel. He had Ball, triumphant, but stranded.

Rommel on top of the duck enclosure

A Mystery for the Ages

To this day, we still don’t know the “how” of Rommel’s assent to the top of the coop. There were no ladders nearby, no conveniently placed hay bales, nothing leaning against the coop that he might climb. Yet there he was on top of the coop barking at us to come get him down.

For all we know, he flew up there.

What we learned that day (and several times thereafter) is when Rommel wants Ball, he’s going to find a way to defy the laws of nature to get it.

Rommel later climbed to the top of a fence to retrieve Ball

Does your doxie have a “superpower” they only use for their favorite toy? Let me know in the comments!