Are You Going to Eat That?

Hercules hoping that Hank isn’t going to eat that rawhide chewy

When I return home from shopping, I am greeted at the gate by a very excited pack.

Leaping dachshunds, barking German shepherds, tails flying and spinning in circles, if you’re not careful, it’s really easy to get knocked over and spill whatever I happen to be carrying in the house.

To minimize the chances of injury and loss of groceries, I keep a bag of dog treats in the car that I use to distract the pack when I get home.

Since there’s always an initial wave of “She’s home!” excitement, I’ll walk up to the gate slowly and let them bark and leap for a moment. Once they’ve calmed down a bit, I’ll open the gate and give each dog a treat. Then the dogs will scatter to finish their treat away from the other dogs while I bring the bags of groceries indoors.

The other day, the dog treats happened to be those chewy sticks flavored like chicken, peanut butter, etc. I especially like them because even the German shepherds can’t gobble them down in two seconds flat, so I have a couple of minutes of clear path between the car and the house to unload the groceries unimpeded.

Each of the dogs has their favorite spot in which to eat their snack. Noet takes hers under a tree, Sunna prefers hers on the lawn by the patio. Hercules grabs his and eats it on the run, dropping it repeatedly while he chews and leaps.

Hank likes to take his inside and eat it on the dog bed behind the couch. Now Hank is going on 13 and he’s missing some teeth (Dachshunds have terrible teeth), so he’ll work his chewy slowly, half gumming it and half tugging at it with the good teeth that remain. It’s a slow process, but one that Hank obviously enjoys because he makes a happy “num num” sound the entire time he’s gnawing away at the chewy.

Hercules, on the other hand, is a 6-month-old puppy and everything he does is fast. Walking, eating, barking, everything is done in a hurry, eating chewy sticks included.

While all the other dogs might only be halfway done with their chewys, Herc will have chowed his down like a crocodile and be looking for more.

He knows he’s not going to get another from me, so he’ll casually wander from dog to dog looking to see if any of them are showing signs of being no longer interested in their treat.

Now, no dog is going to call it quits on a delicious chewy, so they jealously guard their treat and give Herc a low warning growl if he gets too close. Herc’s smart enough to stay a good distance from both of the German shepherds (he learned the penalties of getting too close the hard way), but he’ll get much closer to ol’ Hank. Not so close that Hank feels the need to reach out and give him a warning nip on the nose, but close enough that Hank feels the need to growl occasionally between “num nums.”

So Hercules will plop his butt down and stare hard at the chewy while Hank works on it. Sometimes I think he’s trying to hypnotize Hank into giving him the chewy. Other times I think he’s trying to use the power of his mind to will it out of Hank’s paws and into his own mouth.

It never works, of course. Hank takes his sweet time and eats the whole stick — all why Hercules stares at it and drools.

I’m okay with this little pack dynamic. They all get treats, Hercules gets to dream of eating an extra treat, and I get to put the groceries away without stumbling over a kitchen full of dogs.