10 Reasons Dachshunds Rule (and Other Dogs Drool)

Alright, I’m just going to go ahead and say it: dachshunds are the best dog breed ever. Of all time.

If you’re already a doxie devotee, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you’re not, well… you’re about to get schooled.

These long-bodied, stubby-legged bundles of attitude have a way of taking over your heart, your bed, and your couch without asking permission. And somehow, you end up loving them more for it.

So, in the spirit of wiener dog worship, here are 10 totally biased, completely valid reasons dachshunds rule—and every other dog is just trying to keep up.

1. They’re Basically Hot Dogs with Legs

Seriously, what other breed is literally shaped like a food yet still manages to look majestic in a sweater? None. Only dachshunds can pull off the appearance of a living hot dog and look good doing it.

2. Low-Slung Sass

They may be low to the ground, but their attitude is sky-high. Dachshunds have more personality per pound than most dogs three times their size. They strut around like they run the place. And, to be honest, they kind of do.

3. Built-in Lap Warmers

Forget electric blankets. Get yourself a dachshund. These little heat-seeking sausages will burrow into your lap, under your blanket, and basically fuse to your side. Cozy is a natural state for them.

4. World-Class Burrowers

Speaking of burrowing, dachshunds don’t just like to burrow—they were born to. Originally bred to hunt badgers in their dens (yes, really), they’ll take that instinct straight to your laundry pile, bed sheets, throw pillows, whatever is burrowable.

5. They’ve Got That Side-Eye

No other dog throws shade quite like a dachshund. You’ll get looks that say, “Really? That’s what you’re wearing?” or “I asked for chicken, this is dog food.” They are tiny judges in furry sausage form.

6. Low Rider = High Style

There’s something so cool about that long, low silhouette. It’s like they’re the classic convertibles of the dog world—iconic, smooth, and head-turning. Add a hoodie or a raincoat? Boom. Instant style icon.

7. Pocket Watchdogs

Don’t let the size fool you. These dogs take their home security duties very seriously. Mail carrier? Intruder. Squirrel? Intruder. Slight breeze outside? INTRUDER. Nobody gets past a dachshund without being loudly announced.

8. Big Dog Energy

If there’s a dog with B.D.E., it’s a dachshund. They act like they’re 80 pounds of sinewy muscle wrapped in fresh-oiled leather. A dachshund will try to chase down a rottweiler, fight a raccoon, or bark at thunder like they’re handling business. Fearless doesn’t even begin to cover it.

9. They’re Made of Velcro

Dachshunds don’t believe in personal space. Especially yours. Bathroom? They’re coming. Shower? They’re waiting outside the curtain. Kitchen? Already underfoot. Wherever you go, they go. And if you sit down? Prepare to be sat on.

10. They’ve Got That Look

You know the one. The soulful eyes. The head tilt. The floppy ears that twitch when you say “treat.” One look and you’re doing whatever they want. They don’t just have puppy dog eyes, they have puppy dog powers.

In Conclusion: Bow Down to the Wiener

Dachshunds might be small, but they leave a big impression. They’re funny, fiercely loyal, adorably stubborn, and totally one-of-a-kind. Sure, other dogs are great, too, but… come on. Only dachshunds bring this level of drama, devotion, and derpy charm.

So if you’ve got a wiener dog in your life, you already know: they don’t just rule, they run the whole dang house.

Let me know if you agree in the comments below! 👇