16 Signs Your Dachshund is Angry With You

Hercules is sulking over the lack of treats

Forget the health stuff, we’re talking pure, unadulterated, dramatic doggy disapproval. Here are 12 hilariously “angry” signs your dachshund is giving you the full stink-eye:

1. The “Silent Treatment” Snub: You walk into the room, and instead of their usual excited wiggles, they dramatically turn their back to you. Bonus points if they subtly peek over their shoulder to see if you noticed their profound disappointment.
2. The “Side-Eye of Doom”: They’re lying there, seemingly innocent, but you just know they’re judging your life choices with every fiber of their being. One eye slightly narrowed, the other darting around to catch any perceived misstep.
3. The “Pretend Sleep” Protest: You try to coax them, and suddenly, they’re the deepest sleeper on Earth. No amount of sweet talk or treat rattling will stir them from their feigned slumber. They’re too “angry” to acknowledge your existence.
4. The “Dramatic Sigh”: You’ve done something, perhaps dared to move them off the couch, and they let out a long, theatrical sigh that practically screams, “Oh, the indignity! My life is so hard.”
5. The “Stolen Spot” Retaliation: You get up for a second, and bam! They’ve instantly claimed your warm spot on the sofa, usually with a smug, self-satisfied look that says, “This is mine now. You lose.”
6. The “Toy Cold Shoulder”: Their absolute favorite squeaky toy is right there, but if you offer it, they turn their nose up. “Not interested in your pathetic attempts at reconciliation,” their tiny minds declare.
7. The “Zoomie of Displeasure”: Instead of happy zoomies, these are agitated, slightly chaotic zoomies, usually involving a few extra laps around your legs, like they’re trying to trip you as a subtle act of revenge.
8. The “Elevated Nose” Sniff: You offer them a sniff, and they lift their head slightly higher than usual, sniffing the air above you, as if you’re not even worthy of a direct sniff.
9. The “Accidental” Trip Hazard: They’re suddenly everywhere you walk, perfectly positioned to become a furry tripping hazard. Pure coincidence, right? (Wink, wink.)
10. The “Blanket Burrow of Fury”: They’ve retreated deep into their blanket fort, and no amount of sweet talk will get them out. They’re clearly in their “angry cave” and not accepting visitors.
11. The “Silent Doorway Stare”: You’re leaving the room, and they just sit by the doorway, silently staring at your back, radiating an aura of intense disappointment that could curdle milk.
12. The “Selective Hearing” Syndrome: Suddenly, their name means absolutely nothing. “Treat?” “Walkies?” “Bacon?” Nope. You’ve been blacklisted from their auditory radar. It’s truly impressive.

So, next time your dachshund is giving you the business, just remember: it’s not anger, it’s performance art! And you, my friend, are the star of their dramatic one-dog show.

Is there a way your wiener dog tells you he’s not happy with you? Tell us in the comments below!